About Me

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Pack Searcher! Caught in the Act

I don't have one of the new iphones so I can't take video but I was standing in line at the walmart and there he was pawing at these cards like a drunk horny teenager on prom night.

He left with a measly pack of 09-10 Topps Basketball and 2009 Icons football. Enjoy that $2 hit or that $3 you net after fees shipping and not counting time you put into your endeavor.

Bud light presents "Real Men of Genius"
(real men of genius)
Today we salute you, Mr. Department Store Pack Searcher Guy
(Mr. Department Store Pack Searcher Guy)
Every week you trek to all the local walmarts and targets in search of new boxes of sports cards
(in the kiddie section)
You possess the trifecta of loserdom, too much time on your hands, lack of morals, and have never known the touch of a woman
(not so atrractive)
Two dollar hits, the ability to caress pack after pack and look yourself in mirror, next up feeling yourself and looking in the mirror.
(good imagination)
So crack open a nice cold bud light oh molester of the pack
You may find nothing but a blank, but you're always a hit with us
(Mr. Department Store Pack Searcher Guy)


FanOfReds said...

At least it appears to be a nice card section!

stusigpi said...

They do have everything.

Anonymous said...

what a great pic.... lmfao i see giys like that all the time but never taught of taking a pic... i will next time tho!

stusigpi said...

I was this --> <-- close to asking him if he had bought them dinner first, but I had some severe tunage on my iphone and didn't.

beardy said...

wow, that is great!

what was my dad doing in portland?

stusigpi said...

I especially like the tapered leg jeans,the ill fitting polo shirt, the hat. He was wearing his schlub apparel.

Dinged Corners said...

That about sums it up. Especially dashing is the tuft of hair sticking out of his adjustable-size cap.

PS There ought to be a Packsearcher Section on the peopleofwalmart.com site.

stusigpi said...

Good catch on the hair. This guy also looks like every card shop owner I have ever run into.

Brian said...

I love the Real Men of Genius connection...nice catch!

MattR said...

Heh. The card section at my local Wal Mart looks just like that except there's always a line at the register. The card section is hard to get to.

That poor lonely pack on the floor--what kinds of treasures lie inside?

maine mariner said...

Very funny. You should have told him that you only like your cards as friends.

Motherscratcher said...

Beardy's dad. That's funny. I think we should all agree to call pack searchers "Beardy's Dad" from now on. Most people probably wouldn't know what we are talking about but it would be funny.

Do you think that this guy realizes how pathetic he is and is depressed about how his life turned out?

Motherscratcher said...

Oh yeah, Nice on the Real Men Of Genius angle. Well Done.

stusigpi said...

Fear not, that was not a pack left there pathetically on the floor. Joe Collector would never leave a pack behind even if it is an 89 Topps Big or 87 League Leaders mini. It was merely a packet of stickers non card related.

If he isn't depressed about his losery life, he should be. Pack searching? Really? Come on man.

PunkRockPaint said...

Re-reading this five + months later, and I still couldn't help but sing the song out loud... AGAIN!

I also couldn't help to think that Beardy's dad snagged a copy of The Little Mermaid coloring book for "after hours" reading material.